I’m Sick Because I Lack Faith

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb 11:1

She always asked how I was. I’d tell her if it was a good back pain day or not. Or if I’d stayed up all night due to an IBS flare up, or when I needed to go in again for another iron infusion.

“But you’re Christian,” she stated, “Don’t you have faith? The Bible says we are healed by His stripes. Why aren’t you healed?”

Nowhere does the Bible tell me that we gain physical healing through the stripes received before He died on the cross. Nowhere does it tell me that if you believe, you will be free from suffering. I see lots of promises of Him being with us through the fire. I know He will give us new bodies at the second coming. And I know that there will be more more pain..at the end.

Not today.

My faith is exactly where it has always been. In my belief that He walks with me. In my knowledge that He does answer my prayers. Sometimes with a yes, sometimes with a no, and sometimes with a, “Sure… Just not NOW.” It is the evidence I find within me of of a God Whose handiwork I have seen, but Whose face I have not yet looked upon.

A fellow missionary told me it was lack of faith that made me study even though I knew I would be a homeschooling mother. Ie. She was saying that if I truly believed that a mother’s calling was to shepherd and disciple her children, then I would believe that God would take care of us and I did not need an education.

I have read nowhere where God promised His faithful daughters that they would not ever be divorced. I don’t see where He promises that they would not become widows. Or that they would have healthy husbands who would always be able to provide for them. Why would I live my life based on a promise God never made?

I have a brain. I have eyes to see. I had the opportunity. Of course I’d get a tertiary education so that if the worst happened, I’d try take care of my children. Providing for my children in a non-sinful way was no sin! Faith does not presume that bad things will not happen. It does not assume that the ideal is always possible.

Faith helps me deal with sickness. I know He loves me. Just as much as Christ knew God loved Him even as He hung on that cross as felt His separation from Him.

Faith helps me help the helpless because I too have been helpless but faith-filled. (Many of us wives have similar problems. Employed outside the home or not.) And with that very qualification, I am more able to help the ones who need an ear the most but can’t afford the practiced ear of a professional. I have the training. And the opportunity to do it for free.

My faith informs my choices. It doesn’t limit them. I’m not a robot, to be loved by God and waiting on Him to think on my behalf. I am a human to Whom He gave intelligence and choice. Choice to do good, or choice to do evil.

I am pretty sure that none of my choices – studying Psychology or choosing to believe that his grace is sufficient-are sins.

Don’t I have faith?

I do.

Bucket loads.

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