Tears..and Tooth Pain

Yesterday morning I stood at the stove cooking for my children, and I just started crying. My back pain was overwhelming. The magnitude of what each child’s diagnosis means to them and me as their full time carer and educator was also overwhelming.

There was an Instagram post by an autistic telling fellow autistics that they aren’t a burden.

I heartily agree. There were many, “Thank you! I needed this reminder,” responses, but there were also a few, “Well actually, I am not employable, I couldn’t even finish university… I AM a burden.”

Nope, I disagree. Burden has a negative connotation. It’s something you want to get rid of. I definitely don’t want to get rid of any of my children. But they are hard work. They Do require constant vigilance and thought. It’s unrelenting. It’s constant. It’s tiring. This body… But it’s not burdensome. It’s just another test of character. And I know the Examiner had grace to give me.

The tooth pain. Remember that infection from inside my root that got into my bone and caused damage? The pain started creeping back yesterday. Right now, I can’t ignore it. I even went out to disturb my daughter doing her Physics to ask if she could tell if my gum is swollen.

It is.

I’ve gargled with medicated mouthwash and plan to alternate with salt water, but beyond that, I don’t know. How does one treat a bone infection that doesn’t want to go away despite three rounds of antibiotics and six hours or so of it being cleaned and medicated?

I hope I don’t need to find out. I hope it’s temporary and in the morning, God would have been gracious and fixed it.

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