I Tried to be Thankful Today

I wracked my brain, trying hard to find a meaningful post for ‘Thankful Thursday.’ But I couldn’t. Some things aren’t deep. I am thankful I have shelter. I am thankful I’m not victim of the floods in the rest of our country. I’m thankful my husband is mostly better. But those don’t fill a post. And they are short enough for a post on Twitter.

I thought, “Ok, I’ll see how the day progresses. I’ll find something there.” But Twin A has been sick for two days with a runny nose and was extra moody yesterday. Then Twin B had a runny nose last night and didn’t sleep. Had a crying jag too. And now all the children minus one boy are down with sore throats and runny noses. Hmm, if I had a sore throat and was a two year old, I’d also be moody! I rushed off to buy honey, zinc immune supplement, Vit C etc and the power went. I knew it would. But my stomach has been awful with the latest dose of antibiotics so I had planned on just making a blackstrap molasses smoothie for myself this morning. But you know, ‘mama’ came out before ‘self care’ did. The power went as I was walking out the pharmacy on my way to get honey and bread. No smoothie for mom!

We know how it is as parents, especially mothers. Your brain goes into fight mode when your children aren’t well. Hmm, what about neurological problems that will never go away? Does that mean our brains are constantly under pressure? Hold that thought.

Seeing them in so much pain did NOT give me fodder for thankfulness. And neither does the fear of it spreading to me or my husband or the one child. Especially as I woke up early at around 3am to ask the Endodontist’s assistant to make an appointment for me. Can you tell I had a bad night too with that jaw? And this is with my last dose of antibiotics having been yesterday morning. Still taking probiotics. Or am I feeling tenderness and pain from the damaged bone? Is it merely referred pain? I don’t know! So yeah, THAT issue also doesn’t leave me feeling grateful.

What can I say? I’m hungry, nauseous, sick, tired, sleepless, electricity-less and sad about my poor kiddoes.

Wracking my brain…

I’m thankful that right now, I’m in a bed in a brick house blogging. That I have a gas stove on which I’m cooking potatoes. That the twins aren’t crying anymore (When they were being put down for their quiet time-can’t call it nap time when they no longer nap in the morning they were both crying and making my heart sore. Twin A, “I don’t want to go!” But they need to rest.) Grateful my older children each have their own bed to sleep on. Thankful that I can buy them clothing when needed. I’m still traumatised by how in the beginning, I had to make my one child wait a whole month in the dead of winter, because the other one got a jersey. I remember walking out a shop weeping because I couldn’t afford to buy them (I only had two at that time) yoghurt. Just a tiny yoghurt! Never asked anybody for money. Never felt entitled to it. Never even considered it. Which is why I can’t understand people who ask me for money to pay for DSTV. (Digital satellite TV). That’s not a need! And they never stop to think they’re asking an unemployed woman.🤔

So yes, I’m grateful. Grateful that my back has a bit of a rest though because the teens are sick I’m going back and forth between sick twins. I’m thankful that things are not WORSE! For they always could be.

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