My Goal for You

I didn’t even know what to title this… It’s been an ongoing theme from the days I heard rumours that an in-law was complaining that I’m “finishing” my husband’s money by being a homemaker; to my own relative saying I’m making life difficult and “unfair” for my husband by being a homemaker while he works and don’t “deserve” what I have; to today’s phone call.

Just one little line opened my eyes to how yet another person sees my value or worth in rands and cents, not in character and work. Ie. Not in the work I’m doing.

Think about it, I’m a TEACHER. My children will get into college or university because I TAUGHT them. Do we expect teachers to get second jobs?

I’m constantly with my children. Meaning, I am their daycare, their nanny, their au pair… If I were one professionally, nobody would bat and eyelid. Nobody would lament that I can’t become an entrepreneur. For these people who speak on my life, they don’t see the job that I’m doing. They see the money I’m not making. For them, my job, what I DO, is not enough.

It’s weird and disconcerting that there are people who view what I’m doing as not enough. Who view my life only in money terms. It was a throwaway remark that brought that to light. From someone who I thought was more enlightened. She lamented that if I have to be parent to children who require much brain/thinking/therapy etc time, then it means I’ll never be able to “do something entrepreneurial.”

Why do people sit and think about my life like that? As if I’m lacking or not yet fulfilled because I’m not making money. Or as if my children are an interruption in life’s ultimate goal? That’s not how teaching is viewed. Why is money intrinsically tied to fulfillment? I’d understand if I ever complained that I’m short of money. (But then if I got a job, I’d need to pay someone else to do the things I’ve been doing, so my money would disappear anyway…🤔)

Why is the educating of mind, body and spirit not viewed as valuable when it doesn’t come accompanied by money? Is our value or worth as human beings in the money we make, or in the people we are? Is it in the hearts we touch? Or in the gold we make?

My current reason for living is to teach my children to love others enough to want to see them saved. It’s to be a therapist to my children. It’s to educate them for this world and the next. They aren’t in the way of my goals, they PROVIDE my goals. More importantly, none of these people have ever asked me what my goals are. They don’t know that the other thing I find fulfilling is holding the hand of a mother or woman who needs it. I am happy when I can be a support. I find peace and joy in being a shoulder to cry on. I don’t need money to do that. My goal is not to make money, but to help. Help my children, and help others.

I don’t set goals for others, I wish they wouldn’t set goals for me based on their standards, not mine. As long as you’re doing good and eschewing evil, I’m ok with whatever you do! Unpaid volunteer work included. Poverty-stricken mission work included. Anything positive you do, whether paid or not, is the fulfillment of MY goals for you. All I want is for you to do right. That’s MY goal for you.

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