Are You a Mother?

Me to my two year old, “Good night, Naynay, I love you!”

Her to me with the most beautiful smile ever, “I love you too, Mommy! Bye bye!”

Nothing major. But it means all the world to me. We didn’t solve the world’s problems. We didn’t solve our own family’s problems! But we told each other some of the most needed words in the world. “I love you.”

Are you a mother?

My seven year old asks me this morning, “Can you drive yet?”

I told her I was still in too much pain and limited in movement to do so.

She said, “So you can’t buy us treats yet?”

I’d forgotten! Every pay day, is THEIR day too.

“So now we can’t tell you what we want and you buy it for us?”

I asked, “But didn’t your sister say you guys are all going with daddy to the shop tomorrow? He can buy the treats you ask for!”

Her reply, “But what if he says no?”

Again, nothing earth shattering in what she said. Probably quite common when it comes to how children perceive their moms versus the way they perceive their stricter fathers. She was saying, “Mom, you want to make us happy. It’s your goal. I’m not sure of the other guy though…”😉

I told her, “My angel, I will talk to daddy. I know he won’t say no anyway, but I’ll make sure and tell him, ok?

You will get your treat.”

Later on this afternoon, as I put some smaller items of ironing away, she commented, “You’re feeling better! You’re starting to serve us!”

She obviously remembered my lamenting the terrible state of the kitchen sink and my lamenting to them that while they watched the twins, I was unable to do my usual food making or dish washing and couldn’t “serve” them while they served me by being my helpers. But now, I wasn’t just doing housework, I was helping THEM.

Mommy. Lover of hearts. Giver of treats. Provider of services.

Are you a mother?

My husband’s colleague was very recently widowed. One comment he made was, “I didn’t know how much my wife did!” He was overwhelmed by the mom role.

Are you a mother?

Will they remember a servant mom if you were to die today? Would the recall how you told them you loved them? Would they know you didn’t view them as servants as many mothers do, but as equals in the family, needing help instead of being the only ones to have chores to perform while you relaxed? Will they recall how you acknowledged the work they did?

Are they enjoying you while you’re alive? Or are they mourning you while you yet breathe? Are their minds filled with happy memories? Or do thoughts of you bring unimaginable heartache? Do they know they are loved? Or do they feel they have to beg for a love that should naturally be theirs?

Are you a mom?

A ‘good, loving, listening ear’ mom?

Then good.

You have no idea the incalculable value your life is. To know you are loved just as you are, to know you are fine just as you look…To hear a yes instead of an unnecessary no is priceless.

Are you a loving, gentle-natured hardworking mom?

Then good.

And if you’re struggling against a temper or other unkind traits, as some of you have confessed you do. Keep struggling and warring against the traits, not agains your children. Your children didn’t ask to be born. They deserve your best. The worst is the opposite of a “loving” mom.

Keep loving them.

Let’s work on being the best mothers we can be just as much as others work to be the best employee or students they can be. I’ll improve on my weak points, you improve on yours…And we will leave our children with intact hearts.

The only break in their hearts coming from our side should only be because we are no longer there.

So help us God.

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