Friend of mine had a Black lady at her place doing work for her. Menial work. My friend had served this lady coffee, and next thing, the person yells to my friend who was in another room, wanting my friend to bring her water, which she did..and then the Black woman did it again!
Umm, you have feet and hands. She’s not disabled in any way. She did some other things that even made my friend’s Black nanny comment that she was out of order and rude.
I took back the complaints I once made to a different friend! I thought some Xhosa people were insolent when looking for work BECAUSE I’m Black like them, and they think they are older than I am. (My Xhosa people place a lot of stick on age being a market of power. Even though I’d be their employer.) But what my White friend went through is exactly what I thought they were doing because I’m NOT White. After all, we’ve all heard the White customers in shops being greeted and referred to as ma’am by Black cashiers but don’t even greet us Black people let alone call us ma’am. I thought that same principle was at play.
Till yesterday when I was telling the White friend and she told me her experience…
But then, she wanted to EXCUSE the rudeness and insolence and bossiness. She said that White people have abused us for centuries so maybe the Black worker wanted her to get a taste of her own medicine, so it was understandable.
No way! Not for me. I’m not one of those “I will avenge” type people. Not even against the White people I know personally who have been racist and evil to my face or to my children. But to then avenge my people’s suffering on random White people!?? Never.
Firstly, even if I was the revenge type person, that’s assuming that every White person deserves ill-treatment.
My friend is the best friend I’ve ever had. She had a huge heart. When she asks how I am, she adds my response to all my other issues-physical or child-related and almost weeps that instead of life getting easier, more stress gets piled on. She reacts to everything I tell her. It’s not like some who ask but then don’t say anything. “How are you?” Oh, my arthritis is back in my feet and hands.” *silence.* She will remember my insomnia due to other health reasons and lament, “So now you’re having even less sleep! I’m so desperate on your behalf!”
Or when I’m positive, she’ll say, “I love how despite your daily struggles, you still find something positive to say. You’re a better person than I am!” That kind of love is rare. It does not deserve mistreatment. And seriously? She served the person coffee already!
Or what about a friend of mine who is White and adopted children of colour? Does she deserve to be treated badly? What about her mom who was a member of the Black Sash? (White women protesting against apartheid.)
I know some acts of violence are because the victim is White and it’s in revenge. But before they torture and kill, do they even know what kind of White person they are killing? They could be killing their own allies!
For me, I live by the Bible. Vengeance belongs to God. I’ll be kind. If you’re rude, I won’t excuse you. But I won’t welcome you back as an employee. There are many desperate people out there who need work.
Don’t be pathetic… For any reason. You’re not irreplaceable. And the same ‘justice’ you mete out, will come back to you.
I don’t believe we should be excused when we are bossy or rude or act like female dogs towards White people who have done nothing to us. But hey, we don’t all believe the Dane. My friend said I’m too forgiving for disagreeing with her about us not needing to ‘punish’ people like her. 😀I tried!